A Brief Discourse on Characteristics

So, I've spoken a bit about UVa before, and I'll continue the trend in just a bit, but for this moment, I feel a need to explain a type of behavior used by politicians and administrators. More than explain what it is, I want to discuss why it's bothersome, annoying, and insulting. Have you ever met or seen someone that when you ask them a question they repeat your question but turn it into a spring board for what they really want to talk about, completely ignoring what you asked? I have. If you haven't, watch a presidential debate for two minutes. That's all you need. When admin does it, I get very upset, especially when they end up turning so hard and trying to sell their point so much that they're borderline lying as they turn everything into lovely flowers rather than facts. I've noticed that when you lie to people, they are a lot more upset than if you just upfront tell them the truth. That way, there's no misconception; everyone knows the plan from the start.

*sigh* So True....

For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: "It might have been!"

What more could be said that wouldn't exacerbate the failure of language any further?

The Annoyances Continue

Okay, I don't want to sound bitchy, but having gone around reading a bit, I'm disturbed by another trend I've seen: font abuse. Said abuse can include color and text size, often in illogical places. Please: it's distracting to try to read a roller coaster of letters allegedly grouped into a word, esp. when you've highlighted an idiotic part of the sentence. It comes off as would stripper dust: a cheap way to try to shine and catch attention while actually doing nothing positive at all.

Annoying

Okay, I understand that not everyone is born to write. I get that, I swear. I just wish some articles could steer clear of overt violations of what heretofore will be defined as things that annoy the shit out of me.

1. Gratuitous Exclamation Marks

I hate to break it to you: if your article is boring, exclamation marks will not jazz it up or excite your audience; instead, such usage only serves to remind your readers of how pathetic your writing is. It looks two years old, so grow up and use periods, colons, semicolons, or maybe--just maybe--keep it to under 6 marks in a row. And also, proof read those 1's out of your article unless it's for comedic effect.

2. "Cutesy" Language to Help Relate Your Article to the Audience

I don't want to hear about a saucy "make out sesh" you had at some party. If you'd like to discuss an interesting encounter at a particular location, fine, but do not attempt to relate to me via vernacular because a) it alienates readers who attribute whatever slang you used to something negative b) it usually calls on the wrong words, and if it doesn't, it certainly dates your article, completely losing any chance of being timeless c) it makes you look like an idiot.

3. Bad Grammar/ Factually Incorrect Information/ Being an Idiot

Alright, I'm not going to bust out the MLA here. Just use complete sentences, close spelling, and at least make an effort to demonstrate a difference between written word and a dictation of one of your drunken rambles from last Saturday night.

YAY!

Typical prospective students and families want small tour groups. The Admissions Office also wants the tour size small. We tour guides don't. Nope, not at all. When the groups are tiny, no one wants to ask questions, no one laughs at the corny jokes, no one engages. Big groups are almost guaranteed one giggler who will be the first to laugh and let others feel comfortable laughing, at least four middle aged moms willing to ask about dorms, drugs, and alcohol, and a charming little kid who has the power to make or break your will to live. Large tour groups also cause people to edge closer, to lean in closer. I guess it's the competitive edge we all have. We don't want to get pushed to the back, and so we dig in to nudge other people out.

That's why I was sad to hear there were only 4 people on the tour today.

BUT IT WAS AWESOME!

This family was perfect: mom and papa with prospective son and younger brother. All asked questions, all were very friendly and engaged. I loved them. I even did a special tour taking them to the buildings I thought they'd enjoy seeing. The informality was nice, and as I'm loquacious and love bullshitting, everyone chatted it up as we crossed McCormick and made a star on Grounds.

10 Cool Points

This is the most awesome-est mission statement I've ever seen. Good job, Calvary Baptist Academy!!! I approve thoroughly! Oh, and the number of Christian academies in WV terrifies me.

Just a side note.

http://www.calvarybaptistacademy.org/mission.htm

Inconsistency

Now typically, I am the type to prefer structure to disarrayed anarchy. I like having an orderly schedule with me being able to predict most of what's going to happen. It sounds boring, but it makes spontaneity much more freeing and fun. 

But what does that matter? It matters when people are wishy washy, are one facade after another. Just pick one. If you're consistently a jackass, whatever. House finds it appealing, and maybe you will, too. If you're a vegetarian, don't eat fish; it's cheating. I hate whenever people pull this shit, and I really dislike when faceless groups do because we all know it's easier to get upset at an idea than any individual. I dunno; maybe it's a shred of human compassion that we all allegedly have that prevents us from complete and utter apathy, total cultural cannibalism, and electing Rudy Giuliani as president. 

But onto the bullshit!

Facebook & Employers

Alright, if they can't read our mail or ask us to list where we go after 5pm each day or what movies you rent at Blockbuster or any other insanely personal things, why should they even consider Facebook or Myspace? Yes, I get it. If Sally B. Dumbass chooses to post pictures of herself drunk on the internet, clearly she doesn't care who sees them, and I suppose the issue is intent. If you're simply moving Facebook to Facebook scanning about, I really don't care what you stumble upon. If you own a business or are an employer and choose to let someone's recreational (and here I add legal) activities or pictures or statuses affect your decision, I think that's wrong. Recommendations are one thing, but this is another. Jokes I would tell my friends are not what I'd say at my job; shocking as it is, I do know how to exercise discretion, and so while I can post edgy things, I won't say them at work. To be sure, this is a small annoyance compared to...

UVa's Drinking & Streaking policies vs. Steam tunneling

Okay. On tours, UVa acknowledges that drinking and streaking happen and then lists all the safety precautions concerning alcohol (safe ride, Hoos Sober, RA training, etc). Also, they laugh off streaking as a cute tradition at UVa that kids just do. Conversely,  steam tunneling is not acknowledged nor condoned. It is seen as flagrant trespassing and extremely dangerous (*gasp* what if they get lost!). 

The Breakdown?

Drinking can lead to alcohol poisoning, is illegal, and can result in personal injury. Streaking is typically not done sober, but even if it were done sober, it is illegal and can result in personal injury. Steam tunneling is done both dry and drunk, is illegal, and can result in personal injury. I'm seeing some striking similarities, so why the fuck are treated so radically different? Well, here's as far as I've surmised: because kids will be kids and drink, because it's tradition, because it's something people are familiar with and therefore are comfortable with and accept. Streaking? Well, streaking really isn't hurting anyone; they're just running a few paces and then coming back. Also, streaking is also something people are familiar with and therefore don't fear. Steam tunneling sounds scary, dirty, dark, and extremely dangerous. It's not as well spread as drinking or streaking, and so there are several misconceptions. 

In my humble opinion, drinking is worse than urban exploration (steam tunneling falls cleanly into this category). Drunks are known for getting into fights, for vandalizing property, for hurting themselves. A true urban explorer leaves no trace he was there: they don't break property or even litter. They simply are there to appreciate the wonders modern architecture has lent to those willing to follow adventure and wherever curiosity may take them. Oh, and fun fact: urban exploration isn't tied to date rape--something rather infamously married to alcohol.

PS- It's rather hard to get lost in UVa's linear steam tunnels as a few kind souls have spray painted directions on the walls down there. If you're going to do anything, be smart and research before absolutely diving in head first, and have common sense. Please. The last thing the urban exploration community wants is a dumb ass breaking his leg because he didn't bring a flashlight and was slaying from a few too many rounds of beer pong and frat juice.