Finals

In a word, the title explains the reason why there has not been a recent posting.

Mass and Service

I've been to a hand full of churches over the years: crazy conservative Baptist, nondenominational, Lutheran, and a couple others that I'm not really so sure what they are. Christian, but that's about it. That's why I was mildly excited about going to a Catholic service because it'd be a learning experience.

Rule 1: It's mass, dammit.

Sorry, I went to my first Catholic mass.

I enjoy watching Dane Cook's stand up, but now I get a lot more of the jokes. And a lot more Catholic mass jokes. I had once heard that the DMV moves considerably quicker than mass, and that's entirely possible. Fortunately, there's a random snack break in mass, but they're allowed to discriminate, and I just fell shy of the parameters. Damn. Wafer-O-Christ sounded interesting. I wonder if it's honey flavored....

But back to Mass and new things I encountered:

1. The priests really do sing. That was cool.
   
2. There is a crap load (for you metric people, that's a shit ton) of dance moves and vocal responses. I must've missed every single one because people stood up, sat down, knelt, bowed their heads, made obscene hand gestures, and wished for peace on Earth before I'd figured out we'd moved on from snack time.
   
3. The priests are hilarious--I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say that, but they are. Apparently, there's the splash from God, where the priest and Co. grab buckets of water and spray people with it. They had these dipping rods and flicked water with them. The first few swings were the best because the priests hadn't quite gotten down how much of a flick was necessary, and so this one guy got absolutely drenched in a very nice looking suit. Personally, I think blessed water guns would be far more efficient and a hell of a lot cooler. How badass would it be for the priest to have a SuperSoaker water gun at mass?
   
4. Dress. Dress was an interesting. Why would you dress in a very nice outfit to kneel on the ground? But that's just crazy me again talking....
   
5. Babies. Why the hell are you bringing babies to mass? Can't you hire a babysitter? I understand you want to brai--I mean indoctrinate them young, but for my ears' sakes, can't you wait until they're old enough not to scream during the ENTIRE service? If I were responsible for concert ticket sales for the wind ensemble, I'd make student tickets $5 Arts Dollars, community members/ parents $4, and tickets for children under five $67 dollars...in quarters.... Canadian quarters minted between the years 1976-82. With this system, you could bring kids, but you'd have to really want those demonic bastards for them to have a seat. haha! Take that screaming children.
   
6. Smiling. Apparently in church, you don't smile. Being a non-Christian, I'm a very happy person and so was beaming... until some stern, austere woman glared at me as if I were being riotous (I wasn't). Oh, and speaking of appearances, I'm about to make some very broad observations. If you think I'm wrong, I don't care: the people who look the most involved are the men. They bow and nod and amen after every other word. The majority of women look pissed, possibly owing to the fact that they're trying to wrangle six kids--you know it's true; don't lie. Now the childless women were into it pretty deep, but have kid, will spend more time smothering junior so he doesn't scream while the priest is singing a verse or two.
   
7. Assault--yes, I said assault. If there was a cue, I missed it. All I knew was that the entire church rose and simultaneously began trying to shake my hand. Personally, I found it unwelcome and unsanitary. I don't want to shake their hands, and I don't care how dickish I sound. For all I know, that hand could've been anywhere, and now they want to shake my hand? HELL NO.
   

And so that I leave on a semi-positive note, the music was amazing. I love sacred music, even if I disagree with every word they sing in gorgeous tones and melodic chord progressions.

Senility or Wisdom?

I absolutely love this quote, and I'm pissed I can't remember who said it, but whatever:

"When I was fifteen, I couldn't believe how stupid my dad was. By the time I was twenty-five, I couldn't believe how much he had learned."

So, while older people eventually lose their grip on sense and sensibility, they just might have an inkling as to a few good ideas. Maybe. Also, when so many have a similar thought, the chance of the idea being good increases just a little.

But anyway, moving on from that crazy idea and onto another: changing the damn Honor Code. Yes, I'm extremely proud that it's been student run for years. Many have said to me that the system will never change, that things this profound never do. One, that's a classic fallacy. Two, I could name countless examples to counter, but I'll only employ a few here:

 The University was President-less for nearly 100 years. The students took great pride in this fact about how wonderfully different they were and that they didn't want to change and be as boring as everyone else by actually having experienced adults handle the paperwork. I'm not sure when the epiphany hit, but clearly it must have, and so far the University has had seven Presidents. 

The strong tradition at this school is both a blessing and a curse. In one hand, the richness and depth is beautiful; in the other, it's crippling. People would dying cling to the sinking ship of sameness than dare to seek difference and change. Change is not always bad. True, of late both UVa and the world have confused motion with progress, but let's not all fall into cynicism and sarcasm. UVa will not die from losing single sanction anymore than it did from gaining a president. 

Now I return to the beginning point: are all older people mad lunatics out to undercut us, the damn frustrating, never understanding us bastards? Ummm, I'm thinking largely no. Actually, pretty much the only time the answer isn't no is when Murphy's Law bites, and a good intentioned plan falls terribly to Hell. I'm a loquacious type and so have often taken advantage of office hours as bullshit time. Honestly, no one wants to work anyways, so office hours often dissolve into chats about anything that allows for procrastination. The Honor Council has come up many a time, and every professor has without fail bashed it mercilessly. They would rather have cheating in their class than deal with the utter nonsense of a couple of drunk frat boys playing lawyer for a group of often bored, obnoxious jurors. Fair enough, not every Honor member is a fraternity/ sorority member, but the last thing I want to see is someone puking their brains out on Saturday and then trying someone else for an Honor offense on Monday. How about you explain this: why is having a fake I.D. a trivial offense, but lying about a 1 credit paper not? Either they both are, or they're both not. The former, I'll remind you, is a federal offense that (I forget the exact percentage, but it was over 50%) of UVa admits to having a fake I.D. They drink alcohol on the weekend, underaged, breaking federal laws and then go to trial and see themselves fit to judge other people. Please, the hypocrisy is killing me. I do not want someone hopped up on hormones deciding whether or not another person stays at the University. 

Why are so many professors against this system? Well, a lot of it is that it's run by hypocrites. Another is that professors are given the run around. Even if they have a reasonable case, their case might be dismissed because the professor is unpopular, the kids are popular, or the case going through would look terrible on the University. If that wasn't enough, think about this: the point of college is to learn and to grow. Yes, everyone who comes here agrees not to lie, steal, cheat, etc. You as a student have very few absolute rules which you're asked not to break. But what if you (gasp!) aren't perfect, if you slip up. Should you lose everything here because of one bad call? Some would say yes. I try to shy from the "all heads roll" principle of the French Revolution and opt for a more mild approach. Make it two strikes normal with the option of single sanction maybe on call for a particularly heinous crime. Ha, this is starting to sound like a death penalty debate.

Many people have said that with the removal of single sanction, the amount of cheating will increase. I highly doubt that. The amount of reported cheating will increase, but people who aren't going to cheat anyways won't change into horrible monsters that cheat on every paper and lie at every chance, and people intending to cheat clearly aren't deterred by it, judging from the fact that the Court seems to process 1-3 cases a week. Others have said that the increased workload will grind the Court to a halt. Well basing solely on the time tables of how long it took to expel Jason Smith, the Court moves at a pace similar of the UN, and (to borrow a crude phrase of a friend) that's roughly the speed of a retarded snail. 

On Make Up and General Female Dress

I do not pretend to have any inclination to feminine dress, make-up, or general appearance. On the whole, things stereotypically female are largely impractical and require tedious prep work: two things I can hardly tolerate. Where's the sense in waking up two hours early to do make-up or hair? Why would anyone not masochistic wear high heels? 

Yesterday, I decided to do a tally in my mind. I'd go from class to class counting the number of women with and without make-up and establish a rough ratio. Sadly, I was unable to do this because every woman I saw had makeup. Not joking. I wish I were. Every girl in my Italian class, every girl I saw in my chem and bio lecture. 

Well, when the ratio reached 1:50, I stopped counted and began thinking. Either everyone else has figured something out that I've missed, or I've missed a mini social plague. Who knows? 

Here's what I've been told: women who care about themselves wear make-up. Women who want to show dedication and status and education dress well. Women who want to be taken seriously, who want to look proper, who want male attention--it all comes back to makeup and dressing. 

Well, damn. That sounds a lot like the moral of the story is you get through life successfully on looks, that what you feel and who you are come second to phenotype and physicality. To an extent, I understand looking cleaned up for a job, but going to a Friday class in prom attire is going overboard. And for what it's worth, here's a funny correlation I've noticed: women who mask themselves in layer upon layer of make-up and wear beautiful and ornate clothing are building decorative facades to distract from the truth: they're not comfortable in their own skin. They can't bear to go through the day without a shield or crutch. I can't say that I'm sorry, but I almost wish I understood the logic behind "Oh, you know you're my friend because you've seen me without make-up?" Really? Is that your measuring stick? I get there's a possible metaphor about unmasking and being you around your true friends, but does wearing make-up change you that much? Who gives a damn what other people think about you? Honestly, no one cares if you show up to class in sweat pants with ridiculous socks, a green and yellow striped stocking hat, and bright purple flip flops with rhinestones. I realize that some people think that the entire world is staring at them 24-7. I hate to break it to you, but you're not that special. People are so introspective and wrapped up in themselves that they really can't be bothered to look and take notice of you, and if they somehow do, I assure you, it doesn't matter because they don't matter. No one cares if you mismatch your shoes or wear your shirt backwards. Do things because you like them, not because you need to fit a mold or gain the approval of some social clique. It sounds cliche, but it's true and also unfortunate that some people don't live by it.

 And frankly, some of these women look ready for Cats, not work. A few days ago I went to the gym and saw at least four women in pearls, not to mention another half dozen in make-up. Really? Really? You opt to go to the gym in make-up? Perhaps I've missed a lesson here, have a deficient education, but I thought make-up, jewelry, dresses--all that nonsense--was for special occasions, and that the gym didn't qualify. And really, how good can anyone look when they look like they've applied make-up with a trowel? Seriously, less is more. I promise.

I'm not saying that low self-esteem causes women to wear make-up or dress nicely. I'm just saying the connections are interesting.

Honor

Ugh, if one more person comes up to me spouting how loved the Honor System is here, I think I'm going to unleash a verbal deluge on their ignorant... selves. The die hard supporters love to talk about single sanction, the court system, and how long this beloved system has lasted untouched. Okay, let's start shoveling away a lot of semantically misleading nonsense.

First off, single sanction works about as well as the penal code of Revolutionary France did. They have proven--again and again--that the more severe the penalties for crimes, the more likely people are to commit crimes of higher ranking. Think about it: if you got punished the same for stealing gum and stealing a car and you were going to steal something (I have to throw this bit in there for the people who would opt for nothing), would you go for the Big Red or the Jeep? Better yet, if criminals got the same punishment for murder that they got for robbery, how many victims do you think would make it to court? I'm thinking not so many. Now, I'm not saying that cheating on a test is murder, but it's damn close socially. If found guilty, you're out of the University irrevocably. Who wants to do that to someone? I've seen over a dozen people cheating, and I can't bring myself to turning them in. Yes, the University basically has one rule, and they're breaking it, but dammit: I'd turn them in if I knew what they'd get was a zero in the course. Or a semester suspension. C'mon; this system doesn't work. Who wants to be responsible for someone's expulsion? Only a nazi like that one who turned in the 4th year over a simple paper would opt for a trial over a rules revision. 

Onto the court system, or as I call it, the Kangaroo Court. Why? There are zero checks and balances, and I've met the students here. Sure, the majority are great, but what if you get a rotten pick? Swallow your pride, and let the professors onto the jury, too. God, I hate it whenever people here flip out about letting older, wiser, more experienced people help out and call it a destruction and decay of student leadership. Happens so often with the Cavalier Marching Band. What people fail to see is that the CMB is more orderly, has over 50 student leaders, and is all around for better than the drunken, insulting Pep Band who got themselves banned from several stadiums. Good job, team! 

But seriously, I've seen over a half dozen articles about trial misbehavior: jurors falling asleep or acting uncouth. Then, to make it worse, the Honor Committee refuses to release information on it. Yeah, that's transparent. 

Finally, how about those peppy saps singing about how the students always favor not changing the system. Well, let me break it to you bluntly, it ain't because the system works; it's because the proposals are radical and unreasonable. It's a set up, basically. Would you vote yes for a Constitutional amendment that sought the death penalty for any crime or would you opt to stay with our current Constitution despite it obviously needing revision? You'd keep your ass out of crazyville is what you'd do, but then someone's going to take that vote data and say, "WOW! 92% of our citizens voted to keep the current Constitution. They must love it SO MUCH!!!" Yeah, no. It needs changed. Get rid of single sanction, add intermediate penalties, and keep the triviality clause. It's not that hard, people. It doesn't need a complete overhaul. Fix one issue at a time, and right now, just cut out single sanction and replace it with maybe a two or three step system: first time you get a zero in the course, second time you get a suspension, third time you're out. Or skip step 2 and proceed to 3. I don't care; just don't expel over a one page reflection paper. That's asinine and leaves a bitter taste on everyone's palate. 

And don't talk to me about ubiquitous honor until some flake returns my laundry basket, god dammit.