*sigh* So True....

For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: "It might have been!"

What more could be said that wouldn't exacerbate the failure of language any further?

The Annoyances Continue

Okay, I don't want to sound bitchy, but having gone around reading a bit, I'm disturbed by another trend I've seen: font abuse. Said abuse can include color and text size, often in illogical places. Please: it's distracting to try to read a roller coaster of letters allegedly grouped into a word, esp. when you've highlighted an idiotic part of the sentence. It comes off as would stripper dust: a cheap way to try to shine and catch attention while actually doing nothing positive at all.

Annoying

Okay, I understand that not everyone is born to write. I get that, I swear. I just wish some articles could steer clear of overt violations of what heretofore will be defined as things that annoy the shit out of me.

1. Gratuitous Exclamation Marks

I hate to break it to you: if your article is boring, exclamation marks will not jazz it up or excite your audience; instead, such usage only serves to remind your readers of how pathetic your writing is. It looks two years old, so grow up and use periods, colons, semicolons, or maybe--just maybe--keep it to under 6 marks in a row. And also, proof read those 1's out of your article unless it's for comedic effect.

2. "Cutesy" Language to Help Relate Your Article to the Audience

I don't want to hear about a saucy "make out sesh" you had at some party. If you'd like to discuss an interesting encounter at a particular location, fine, but do not attempt to relate to me via vernacular because a) it alienates readers who attribute whatever slang you used to something negative b) it usually calls on the wrong words, and if it doesn't, it certainly dates your article, completely losing any chance of being timeless c) it makes you look like an idiot.

3. Bad Grammar/ Factually Incorrect Information/ Being an Idiot

Alright, I'm not going to bust out the MLA here. Just use complete sentences, close spelling, and at least make an effort to demonstrate a difference between written word and a dictation of one of your drunken rambles from last Saturday night.

YAY!

Typical prospective students and families want small tour groups. The Admissions Office also wants the tour size small. We tour guides don't. Nope, not at all. When the groups are tiny, no one wants to ask questions, no one laughs at the corny jokes, no one engages. Big groups are almost guaranteed one giggler who will be the first to laugh and let others feel comfortable laughing, at least four middle aged moms willing to ask about dorms, drugs, and alcohol, and a charming little kid who has the power to make or break your will to live. Large tour groups also cause people to edge closer, to lean in closer. I guess it's the competitive edge we all have. We don't want to get pushed to the back, and so we dig in to nudge other people out.

That's why I was sad to hear there were only 4 people on the tour today.

BUT IT WAS AWESOME!

This family was perfect: mom and papa with prospective son and younger brother. All asked questions, all were very friendly and engaged. I loved them. I even did a special tour taking them to the buildings I thought they'd enjoy seeing. The informality was nice, and as I'm loquacious and love bullshitting, everyone chatted it up as we crossed McCormick and made a star on Grounds.

10 Cool Points

This is the most awesome-est mission statement I've ever seen. Good job, Calvary Baptist Academy!!! I approve thoroughly! Oh, and the number of Christian academies in WV terrifies me.

Just a side note.

http://www.calvarybaptistacademy.org/mission.htm