Annoying

Okay, I understand that not everyone is born to write. I get that, I swear. I just wish some articles could steer clear of overt violations of what heretofore will be defined as things that annoy the shit out of me.

1. Gratuitous Exclamation Marks

I hate to break it to you: if your article is boring, exclamation marks will not jazz it up or excite your audience; instead, such usage only serves to remind your readers of how pathetic your writing is. It looks two years old, so grow up and use periods, colons, semicolons, or maybe--just maybe--keep it to under 6 marks in a row. And also, proof read those 1's out of your article unless it's for comedic effect.

2. "Cutesy" Language to Help Relate Your Article to the Audience

I don't want to hear about a saucy "make out sesh" you had at some party. If you'd like to discuss an interesting encounter at a particular location, fine, but do not attempt to relate to me via vernacular because a) it alienates readers who attribute whatever slang you used to something negative b) it usually calls on the wrong words, and if it doesn't, it certainly dates your article, completely losing any chance of being timeless c) it makes you look like an idiot.

3. Bad Grammar/ Factually Incorrect Information/ Being an Idiot

Alright, I'm not going to bust out the MLA here. Just use complete sentences, close spelling, and at least make an effort to demonstrate a difference between written word and a dictation of one of your drunken rambles from last Saturday night.